I was told the space between where you are and where you want to be can be summed up in one word “change” ... it’s a confronting word since hearing “you’ve changed” always seems to be delivered with a tinge of distaste. It’s no wonder then, that we have such a reluctance to feedback...isn’t it funny that we all want help but few of us want feedback! Or what’s worst is we put terms and conditions on feedback when it arrives., “we say things like I don’t like the way it was said” “I don’t like the person who said it” “It wasn’t the right time to say that”
The only person these conditions hurt is YOU! Waiting for the advice you need to be delivered the right way at the right time by the right person is like waiting to win the lottery! In life and learning we need to be willing to put aside our terms and conditions and focus on the lessons available to us... just like opportunities don’t show up at a convenient time, neither do the lessons that will propel you towards the changes you need to make in order to grow.
There is a maturity to taking on feedback which tends to go like this:
Resent it
Allow it
Accept it
Welcome it
Seek it
Use it
The highest form of maturity is called Taking RESPONSIBILITY ... that’s where the magic of using the feedback to your advantage regardless of context and delivery happens!
I can bet that you have someone in your life who is feeding you GOLD but you can’t see it through the terms and conditions you’ve set! Perhaps your partners right? Maybe your parents are full of wisdom BUT everyone else’s parents are cooler right? Maybe, you have a mentor but you don’t like the way they talk so you’ve switched off to learning! Maybe it comes at a cost and you’re not willing to pay... these are all T and C’s that are holding you back!
Here’s the deal. Digging or gold means finding a shit load of dirt as you go! Don’t focus on the dirt focus on finding the gold! The same can be said for your development, don’t focus on who, how, when focus on the what (the gold)... capture it and then start using it!
For things to change you must change! We’ve all heard it before, what you haven’t heard is why we can’t hack the feedback required to change! Is it change we’re afraid of or the damage to EGO, along the way? Remember EGO is the “enemy of goals and opportunities EGO wins and you lose! So take the lessons, remove the conditions and make the change!
Dan
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